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“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”-e.e. Cummings

(quote in honor of LB-I know, I know, more to come about the mysterious LB, I promise)

I’ve been in one of those overwhelming, awkward moods lately that causes me to wallow, ponder, bemoan, embrace and leap for joy.  In other words, my brain is jam packed full of thoughts and crap, melancholy and delight, fear and bravery.  It’s an odd combination to be sure.  I’m certain a large majority of this is due to me stumbling through life experiences, about 10 years after the average person.  (As I said before I admit to my life being rather unique.)

I also have been forcing myself to admit that it’s not because I’ve been too busy that I haven’t been writing anything.  I’ve spent waaaaayyyy too much time lately watching sappy, wonderful, make-you-roll-your-eyes-and-maybe-shed-a-tear-when-no-one-is-looking Christmas Movies.  I think part of me is hesitant to start delving into the serious matters of things, and more importantly to begin the daunting task of trying to Explain things.  So to make things seem more reasonable I am going to make myself tackle at least one topic a week.  Considering I think I can Reveal All (Shut up about the dramatic overtones.  I was an English Major.  It can’t be helped.) in 3 main topics it’s shouldn’t be too overwhelming.  Right?  (Give a girl some hope here!)

The topics I will force myself to Explain and all that jazz:

The Childhood – It’s what makes me refer to myself as “unique”.

The Ex – Although it’s not really about him.  I suppose it’s actually more about losing myself.  But come on…a title of “Losing Myself”?!?!  Even I, the English lover will readily admit that would take it a step to far. (Oh god, I just remembered that I once wrote something titled that.  I am that nerd it seems.)

The Now – Which encompasses a lot.  *sigh*  But it also includes the story of LB